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Author: Mary A. Allen, Â鶹ӰԺ

Step 1: Assessment of Situation

1a. Draw four gradients from high to low. Label their knowledge, feelings, time spent (including time in thoughts), and risk (personal and professional).

1b. Mark where on each gradient this topic is for you. Note: If knowledge is low, you may need to learn more before proceeding and redo step 1a after learning more.

Step 2: Option Analysis

2a. How many options to deal with this situation do you have? Write them all down.

2b. Make a list of your values. For each value, quantify on a scale of 1 to 10. For example: I quantify the following on a scale of 1 to 10: fairness, honesty, compassion.

2c. Repeat step 2b from the point of view of each person involved. (This step may work better if you consult a third person!)Ìý

Note: Generally, the higher the feelings, time spent or risk was in step 1,Ìýthe fewer options you will feel like you have. High feelings or risk may also make you less logical. Consult a third party. A third party should be someone that is nonbiased, confidentialÌýand not involved in the situation. Your campus Ombuds office may have third-party consulting available.

2d. Choose the option that aligns best with your values.ÌýDo you think it is important to be fair? Then consider: Is this option fair to you? Is this option fair to the other parties affected by this? Do you think it's important to be respectful? Then is this option respectful to you? Is this option respectful to the others involved?

Step 3: Action

3a. Prepare by gathering materials and facts and by practicing the conversation (in front of a mirror or with a friend).

3b. Execute the conversation.

3c. Debrief and decompress.

Acknowledgments: CU Ombuds office (including Kirsi Aulin, Martha Hanna, Lee PottsÌýand Suzanne Soled) and their booklet "Working though a cringe moment."Ìý Additionaly the book Who’s the Boss? ConfrontÌýthe Elephant in the Room.

For more useful and relevent documents check out the Ombuds Resources webpage.