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Living with roommates, whether you’re in the residence halls or off campus, can be a great experience. It may also bring new challenges and responsibilities. This might be the first time you’ve had to share a room or live with someone you’ve never met. 

While many Buffs get along with their roommates, disagreements can happen. This is normal and working through conflict often leads to growth and stronger relationships. Here are some tips to create a positive living environment and navigate conflict if it comes up. 

1. Get to know your roommate 

During move-in and your first few weeks on campus, try to get to know your roommate. Seek out things you have in common and allow space for differences. Even if you already know your roommate well, take time to talk about the upcoming semester and your routines.  

Learn each other’s schedules so you can be mindful and respectful of each person’s needs. For example, you may have an early class and prefer to go to bed early, while your roommate may work a late schedule and want to sleep in. Communication is key to understanding each other’s habits, schedules and preferences.  

2. Set ground rules together 

As you get to know your roommate, this is a great time to establish ground rules to prevent misunderstandings later. Topics you could discuss include: 

• Guests: Are you okay with overnight guests? Are there times of the day or evening that you would prefer to not have guests over? 
• Chores: Who’s responsible for cleaning common areas or taking out the trash, and how often? Will you set up a schedule for completing chores? 
• Shared belongings: What items in your space will be shared (electronics, appliances, supplies, food, etc.)? Are there certain items that you prefer not to be shared? 
• Finances: If you live off campus and are responsible for rent and utilities, how will those be divided and paid? 

Creating a roommate agreement is an easy way for you to discuss and agree on expectations with your roommate. If you live on campus, your resident advisor (RA) will work with you during your first week on campus to set one up. If you live off campus, use this free roommate agreement template to get started.  

3. Be open to compromise  

During your discussion, there might be preferences between you and your roommate that could cause conflict, or topics that you don't initially agree on. However, you may also find that you can compromise on issues that aren’t as important.   

For example, if you like to study on Friday afternoons and your roommate likes to invite friends over at the end of the week, you could study at the library instead of asking for quiet hours during that time. Finding areas of compromise and respecting each other’s preferences can help you both feel more comfortable in your living environment.  

4. Respect each other’s space and belongings 

Living in the residence halls or apartments can mean tight quarters, but you and your roommate still have a right to privacy and boundaries.  

• Ask before you borrow items belonging to your roommate, including food, clothes and toiletries. 
• Share plans with your roommate that might affect them, like if you’ve invited guests over or if you’re going out of town for the weekend. 
• Respect the ground rules that you’ve set up together—quiet hours, responsibilities with chores, etc.  
• If you live in separate bedrooms, always knock before you enter their room.  

5. Address issues quickly and in person  

It’s best to address roommate issues quickly before they fester. If possible, try to discuss any important topics or reminders with your roommate in person. Bringing up issues through texting, social media or sticky notes might lead to miscommunication or increased frustrations. A simple reminder to “take out the trash” could become something more than we intended.  

Instead, give yourself time to think through how you can express your needs before approaching your roommate. Using “I” statements to describe how the situation makes you feel is a helpful way to start. For example, “I feel frustrated when guests eat my snacks because it’s hard for me to make it to the grocery store.”  

Remember that respect goes both ways. Listen for understanding and ask follow-up questions during the conversation. Resist the urge to formulate a response to what the other person is saying while they’re speaking. Instead, focus your attention on the emotions, issues and reasoning behind what your roommate says to help find a solution. 

If you are nervous about talking with your roommate, connect with your RA or Conflict Resolution to help mediate the conversation. Remember that conflict can be a good thing. Even though it may seem daunting, talking it through can lead to a healthier relationship with your new roommate. 

6. Find support with campus resources 

Students have access to a variety of resources to help resolve roommate conflict. If you’re ever concerned about your roommate, you can reach out to Student Support and Case Management or Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution for guidance.