Tips for talking to your partner about STIs
Did you know the most common symptom is no symptom at all? Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be a difficult topic to discuss with our partners. However, it鈥檚 important to talk about. While it may feel like an awkward subject, it doesn't have to be. The good news is that talking about STIs and getting tested with our partners can help improve our communication and relationship in general. Here are some tips for starting a conversation.
Take the lead
鈥淚 just wanted to let you know that I got tested for STIs last month鈥︹ is a strong start. Taking the initiative to get tested, receive treatment if necessary and know your status keeps you and your partner safe. Once you鈥檙e ready to have the conversation, you can open up by sharing your results and showing that it鈥檚 normal to get tested.
If they respond that they haven鈥檛 been tested or it鈥檚 been a while since their last checkup, encourage them to get tested, too. That way you鈥檒l both be on the same page and have the same information. This is also a good time to remind them that getting tested doesn鈥檛 mean they have an STI, and if they do, most are curable and all are treatable. Remind them that having an STI doesn鈥檛 say anything about them; infections can happen to anyone.
Jump in together
If you haven鈥檛 been tested recently either, start a conversation with your partner about getting tested together. If you鈥檙e feeling uncomfortable about it, acknowledge the awkwardness. For instance, you can say: 鈥淭his is awkward, but I think it鈥檚 time for us to get tested for STIs. Would you be willing to go together?鈥
This kind of conversation lets you share an awkward experience while empowering you both to take care of yourselves and each other. If your partner has been tested recently, ask them if they can provide support for you getting tested or talk about their experience so you know what to expect.
Share your results
Talking about an STI you had or have, or hearing about one from your partner, can be a stressful situation. There are a few things to keep in mind:
- STIs don鈥檛 define people or their behaviors
- Many STIs are curable and all are treatable
- Millions of people contract STIs every year
- For those in monogamous relationships, an STI doesn鈥檛 necessarily mean someone cheated (in some cases, it can take years for symptoms to show up, if at all).
Start this type of conversation in a safe place where you won鈥檛 be interrupted, and practice what you鈥檇 like to say ahead of time. 鈥淚鈥檝e had chlamydia. My doctor treated it, so I don鈥檛 have it anymore, but it made me realize we should be getting tested more often鈥︹ or 鈥淚 was just diagnosed with gonorrhea and my doctor said you can also get a prescription for the same antibiotics鈥︹
Sometimes people need time to process this type of information, and that鈥檚 okay 鈥 let them know you鈥檇 like to continue talking about it when they feel ready.
If your partner discloses an STI to you, remember these facts and consider how you鈥檇 want to be treated if you were the one in their place. Be compassionate, avoid judgment and take on your collective health together.
Resources
If you have questions or would like to get tested, Medical Services offers STI testing and other sexual and reproductive health services.
Free safer sex supplies (condoms, lubricant, etc.) are also available at Health Promotion on the third floor of Wardenburg Health Center.
For general information on sexual health and sexually transmitted infections, visit